Wednesday, June 17, 2009

This sweet family...

is mine by marriage. This is Jesse, Uncle Keith, Aunt Karen and Megan. Yet another family who has been touched by cancer. Karen found a lump during a monthly self-exam. A mammogram did not detect the lump, but she persisted and they found it with an ultra-sound. By the grace of God, she found it very early but is still having to endure chemotherapy. Today I had the privilege of taking her to chemo. Her attitude is amazing. One of my favorite parts of the day was one that she may not even realize happened. We were briskly walking through the waiting room. She was breezing through with her head (adorned with the cutest wig I have EVER seen) held high. She passed a lady that was waiting as well and just said, "Hello! You look very pretty! That blouse looks so pretty on you!" Because I was walking behind her, I got to see the look on this lady's face. I vowed right then and there that I will give out more random but sincere compliments. I was so proud to be there with her. Especially when she busted out the fake snoring!

When I looked around at this room full of people I was sad. Sure I was sad that they were all there fighting for their lives. But I was also sad when I looked at the number of people that were there by themselves. I saw a woman coming back from the restroom. I jumped up to help her plug herself back into the wall. I was happy to do it and she was very thankful...but it made me sad! Why wasn't someone there for her? There was a lady that felt sick and all she wanted was a baked potato, but no one was there to go get her one. A very sweet nurse ran over to the hospital cafeteria and got her one. (That would be considered above and beyond the call of duty!) It made my heart ache. It also made me so thankful to be a part of a family that is so dedicated to one another. I left there with so much love in my heart for my mom. The fact that Steph NEVER has to be alone during chemo...there just aren't words. So here is my plea.

If you know someone with cancer (a family member, friend, neighbor, church member, mail person, bank get my point.) please, no matter how they may resist....DON'T LET THEM GO TO CHEMO ALONE!!!! If you have to, call me and I will go with them!!! I honestly sat there today and thought, "I wonder if I could volunteer up here and just take care of the people who don't have anyone?" Someone to get a blanket. Someone to fetch a drink. Someone to alert the nurse when nausea is taking hold. Everyone should have a someone. By the way, Aunt Karen has LOTS of someones...I am blessed to be one of them!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Chemo Day

Steph started chemo yesterday. Bummer. We were really hoping for a summer full of fun WITHOUT chemo. As my kids would say, "BOO chemo, YEAH pool days!" But if you know us, you know that we will make the best of it. So I enjoyed a day with these 4 cutie pies.
From A Little Bit of Life

Here are a few more pictures from our fun day!

From A Little Bit of Life

From A Little Bit of Life

From A Little Bit of Life

From A Little Bit of Life

From A Little Bit of Life

From A Little Bit of Life

From A Little Bit of Life

From A Little Bit of Life

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I Do, but I don't.

Levi has a new thing these days that we think is just hilarious. We will ask him a question such as, "Levi, do you want to eat lunch?" His reply is always, "I do, but I don't!" It is so cute!

So today as we waited to hear from Houston Steph sent us a text on her feelings on getting the news.

"I do, but I don't want to know."

My heart is heavy as I type this and I'm just going to shoot straight here. There is a nodule near her ovary. The lymph node next to it is inflamed. There is another inflamed lymph node below her abdomen. This leads them to believe that the area between these two spots contains a network of cancer cells that are too small to see. In case you don't feel as if you have been punched in the gut, let me continue.

They have recommended chemo full force again (instead of the leisurely "maintenance" chemo) starting next week. She then asked if this is how it's going to be..."chemo until I can't take it anymore, take a break for rest and start over?" His answer....yes.

I can't even begin to tell you how mad I am. I am even going to venture out (at the risk of offending someone) and say I am DOWN. RIGHT. PISSED. I'm sorry, but I am.

Make NO mistake...we are not waving a white flag. We will not surrender. We will not back down. We will exhaust EVERY option. In the meantime will also continue to live each day to its fullest. We will meet up, as we did today, at our favorite hangout (Nanny and Papa's pool) and continue life as usual. We listen to our kids yell, "WATCH ME WATCH ME!!" We will hoot and holler as if they just did something different from the last 50 times they jumped into the pool. Scot will sweep the porch and pick up after everyone. We will put "spidey suits" on and take them off over and over. (on the kids that is!) I will tell my stupid stories about how I choked on my Pina Colada in St. Thomas and threw my back out to make everyone laugh. We will charge on. We will get through this. We will continue to call ourselves blessed because we have each other. That's all we need.

We know, medically speaking, that Steph is very very sick. We also know that our God is in control.

Am I scared?

I am, but I'm not.