Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Looking at our situation, you could say that we didn't receive the miracle we were praying for. Sure, so many prayers were answered. God was there....there was never any doubt about that. However, we did not get to witness a miraculous healing. Of course that makes us sad because we miss her so very much here on earth.
Having said that, I still believe in miracles. They happen and I could be bitter about the fact that they happen to OTHER people and we didn't get ours. But, being in a situation where we HAD to have a miracle in order for Steph to live, I understand the urgency. I know the sense of desperation. That is why, when I hear of someone else getting their miracle....I rejoice. I praise the Lord that he spared another family from what we have endured. I trust His plan and His reasons and I am thankful for his mercy.
But man I miss her. We all do.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
2. Over the years, I have seriously underestimated the power of a card or a bouquet of flowers. So send a few.
3. What you sow, so shall you reap. (Okay, I learned that a long time ago but it was proven time and time again this summer) So get to sowin'.
4. People will amaze you. So put yourself out there.
5. People will disappoint you. So put yourself out there anyway.
6. Mostly people will amaze you. See #4.
7. No gesture is too small. I have never been good about stepping up when someone has experienced a loss. I often think "I should take a meal or flowers or send a card," but often I chicken out. I fear the meal delivery like no other. What if they don't like it? What if they already have a meal for that night? What if I give them food poisoning? But I learned that it doesn't matter. As long is it comes from the heart (and is cooked thoroughly) , it doesn't matter. When someone came through the door, it didn't matter what they were bringing...it meant the world. (Especially if it was ANYTHING that Grandma Joyce baked!!!!) So just do it.
8. Kids are still good. In a world filled with negative stories about our youth, kids are still good. So many high school kids were so affected by Steph's story. They also chose to go out and make a difference. Whether it was a fundraiser or a prayer vigil, they were doing something. Kids are still good. Invest time in yours.
9. God will never leave your side. In a time that should have been SOOOO dark, he was there. The devil was and is working overtime to gain control over us, but God is bigger than the devil. God is bigger than us. God is bigger than cancer. Trust in Him.
12. Don't be so quick to judge, the person who just cut you off in traffic may be having the worst day of his or her life. The girl who doesn't return your smile at the grocery store may be waiting for one of her best friends to leave this earth forever. You just don't know. Instead of being mean back....say a prayer for them.
11. Life is fragile. If it's worth saying or doing, don't wait. Call that old friend or relative and make amends. Hug your kids tighter. Read the extra story. Say yes when they ask you to lay with them. Say yes to dessert. Find the joy.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
So many things in life, in my opinion, tend to be geared SO much toward women. I would be willing to bet that the majority of the blogs on the web are aimed straight at women. Stories of triumph in the face of adversity, horribly sad stories of people losing their loved ones and even just simple crafty blogs pepper the blogosphere. Movies, TV, commercials, radio, store front windows....all are desperately reaching out for the attention of women. We are the talkers. We are the sharers of our feelings. We are emotional. So often, the strong silent ones....the men, are overlooked. I wanted to make SURE our men are NOT overlooked.
Scot. I'm not sure I will ever be able to express to anyone how amazing he was. It was just such a sight to behold. I was watching true love in it's finest moments, which also happened to be the darkest days. He was THE picture of devotion. He served his wife until she took her last breaths. He did so with such courage, such grace, such compassion....a true example of Christlike love.
Dad. (a.k.a Kenneth) He opened up his home without a moments hesitation. He offered up his wife, not just for 3 months....but for 3 years. Since the day Steph was diagnosed, my dad planted himself firmly on the back burner and was happy to stay there for as long as he needed to. He knew that her health and her boys were the top priority and he was ready to move mountains to make sure she was as happy and comfortable as possible. He went to doctor's appointments, picked up kids, delivered food, picked up medication and most importantly offered support to my mom when she was dealing with the stress of being a main caregiver.
Brian. My sweet husband. He was here. Here for me when I was so so so sad. He was always up for an impromptu slumber party with the Phillips boys. For a month, he basically flew solo at night while I was helping at my parent's house. He took over the bathing and bedtime ritual with our kids so I could do it for the boys. He even took ALL FIVE kiddos to Jump Mania BY HIMSELF so we could have some quiet time at the house. He was my rock. My big strong shoulder to cry on....and trust me, I did plenty of that....still do. He is my true love....and he's cute too.
Papa Ed. Steph's dad. He was there in the mornings to sit with Steph while mom and Scot got prepared for the day. Whether they were picking up and straightening (a nervous tic for both), getting cleaned up or just being quiet before the hustle and bustle of the day began, they knew Ed would be there to make sure Steph was not alone. He also offered some serious excitement for the kids as he would fly over in his helicopter! They LOVED that!
Papa J.L. Scot's dad. He was there at a moment's notice to bring whatever he needed to bring. He ran errands and brought treats for the kids. He was there for Scot. Like a huddle, he would come and pump him up.
Jim Pendergrass. All I can say about Pender is a direct quote from Steph. "Pender is my most favorite visitor. When he comes and we talk, he makes me forget I'm sick." They had an incredible friendship. He would come, and they would talk sports. That's all. She loved it. So did he. He took over her team without hesitation and did it with complete faith that "she'll be back." He knew she would fight back for her girls and he was ready to step aside when she did.
Jarad. My baby brother. He fielded SO many phone calls and e-mails. He was kind of our "PR guy" if there was such a thing. He started the foundation which funded ALL of Steph's medical procedures, medications and trips as well as offered a little extra when she was missing work without any paid sick leave left. If something needed to be done, we could call on him and KNOW that he would drop EVERYTHING and it would be done. I will never forget sitting at Steph's last game with him. How so very appropriate. He sat in the stands and watched me play for her as she coached her first game...and he sat with me as we watched her coach her very last game on earth.
These men were and are amazing. I feel blessed to have them in my life, and I KNOW without a doubt, Steph felt the same way. I love each and every one of you and thank you for all you have done and continue to do.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
This award and six others will be presented at the annual WIN Awards on Oct. 6 at the Doubletree Hotel on North Glenstone Avenue. The evening will begin with hors d’oeuvres at 5:30, followed by the ceremony at 6.
Awards to be presented:
• Stephanie Thurman Phillips Courage Award — the 2009-10 Kickapoo girls’ basketball team
• Bee-Payne Stewart Spirit Award — Marilyn Moore
• Mentor Award — Karen Fielding
• Sportswoman Award — Marilyn Grier
WOW Award — Fetlework (12-year-old girl from Africa who plays basketball and soccer at the Boys & Girls Club)
• Corporate Award — Glenda Bond of Waddell & Reed• President’s Service Award — Betty Ward and Jim and Ivy Wilfong
**Pam Clark-Springfield News-Leader**