Sunday, August 15, 2010

My Moment.

I have shared this story with a few people IRL (in real life) and I decided it was time to share it with our blog family. It's about a moment when God revealed himself to me in a very tangible way. A moment that was very special, and some people may think too private to reveal on a blog, but I am willing to share. I want to put it out there so people who don't already know can understand more about the God I serve. The God who knows when we have hit our limits and when He needs to throw us a rope. I will set the stage.

It was a Friday. Ashley and I had been at the house with Steph while everyone else was at the funeral home making arrangements. The Hospice nurse showed up before they returned. I was nervous about mom and Scot not being there. They were the only people who knew EXACTLY what to do. They were the ones who were there 24/7 so I was slightly terrified that a situation might arise where I wouldn't know what to do. It did. I was faced with a situation that I wasn't prepared for and it upset me...bad. (Let me be clear, it was not anything the nurse did. She was AMAZING. It was just a situation that came up that was out of our control.) Then they told us we only had a few days left, I had a chore to do that I was glad to do but it was very hard and someone threw a Bible verse in my face regarding my tattoo. All the while, I had a heartbreaking image running through my head. I went home and felt completely defeated. There was A LOT of sobbing and ugly crying. I wasn't sure I had the strength I needed. Until the next day.

Saturday. Back at mom and dad's. We were in my old room. Just me and Steph. She looked at home next to the orange walls and homemade art from Claire and Drew as well as the sports sheets I found during a retail therapy trip to Target! It was quiet. I gently stroked her forehead and tried to tame her wispy locks of hair. I prayed over her and told her what the boys were doing outside. I kissed her face and started to cry. I already missed her. She had not been talking much during the previous few days and the week before was filled with a lot of talking...but not much of it made sense. I whispered to her, "Oh Steph. I just love you so much." Much to my surprise, she whispered back, "I love you too." She paused and said, "I am so grateful for you." I couldn't believe it. She was having a lucid moment, and I was blessed enough to be sitting there when it happened. I asked her if it would be okay if I read to her. She nodded. I grabbed my Bible and said, "Okay God....give us something good." (It never fails, I do the "open and point" expecting God to send me this amazing passage and I get a family lineage passage or something equally as confusing!) He heard my cry. I opened to Ecclesiastes 4:9


9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.


I cried harder. I grabbed her hand and said, "STEPH! HE sent this for US! WE are going to takecare of you and WE are going to make sure these boys are okay. ALL of us!"

She whispered, "Thank you."
I whispered back..."No, thank YOU."

Those were the last words she spoke to me and I will treasure that moment for as long as I live. God knew I needed that moment. He knew I was torn down. Isn't that amazing? Isn't HE amazing? I think so.

7 comments:

Angela said...

Indeed He is Chrissy. Thank you for sharing that intimate moment. I too feel pulled (or pushed) to do the same things. A beautiful and unforgettable moment.

Anonymous said...

Chrissy,

Very powerful! I appreciate you sharing this post as well as all of the others during Steph's journey.

A friend from high school sent me this message yesterday and I really thought of you and your mother. You two are awesome women!

"Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it, I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can....
H.H. the XIV Dalai Lama

As I have shared in the past, you are appreciated!

gary p

Karen Bowler said...

Christy, We do serve an amazing God. Almost 18 years ago, My father died of Lung Cancer. On the Sunday before he went home, I was late getting to my parents home and as a result I missed hearing my Dad talk with everyone for the last time. I was sad as Dad went into a coma for the final days of his life, and I missed his last conversations. On Thursday nite, I was getting ready to leave and I went into his room and kissed him good nite and told him I loved him. He turned around to me and said, I love you too, Karen. God always gives us the blessing we need

Kimberly said...

Hi Chrissy - over at my blog today I posted some special blogs to visit. I am not sure if it was you but an anonymous comment said I should check out your blog. I am sorry about Steph. I am glad you had some final words with her.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this blog. I knew of Stephanie in high school, we were not close, but her battle saddens me and inspires me. Your family's faith is an inspiration to all as well as your gift to Steph and her family during this great time of need. I am sure that you have changed lives with this blog, I know you have changed mine.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing Chrissy! You brought me to tears. What an amazing testimony of God's love!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your moment with us, Chrissy! It was beautiful and perfect. God definitely has blessed us all beyond measure and he knew you needed that!