Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Just plain strange.

Life is strange right now. We are going about our lives but it's weird. I walk into a restaurant full of people, and no one knows that just weeks ago I listened to one of my very best friends take her last breaths. Or worse, I am walking through the grocery store and see someone I recognize (as someone I should know but can't quite place their face) and I see in their eyes they notice me too. They DO know what we had to do just weeks ago. My stomach flips and I fight back the tears....then go get cinnamon rolls, maybe that will help. PS, it doesn't.

We are doing okay, really we are. Things are just so weird. Brian and I went with our kids and the Phillips boys to ride go karts and play putt putt. The guy working was watching Drew (of course, not knowing our "situation") and made the comment, "I think that boy is having more fun than anyone else here!! LOOK at that SMILE!!!" It made my heart happy and so sad at the same time. SHE should be here watching this. Then last weekend we all went to White Water. Had a BLAST. We get in the car to head home and Drew starts singing "What's New Pussycat" but thinks the words are "Watch you Pussycat!" Levi takes a sip of his Orange Julius and says, "MMMmmm this tastes like vanilla orange juice!" Pretty impressive for a 3 year old! My mind immediately tells me, "Don't forget to tell Steph that when you talk to her." Only that sucks because...I don't get to. Boo.

Scot is very busy getting ready for the new school year. He is excited about his new job and is looking forward to working with the Kickapoo family again. But he also misses his football guys so we will make sure that he gets some "man nights" with the old crew!! When Steph was nearing the end of her journey, we could sense that Scot was getting worn down. My dad made the decision to rally the troops and have a little guys night for him. So his coaching friends grabbed pizza and headed over. I hope they and their families realize what an important night that was. He was able to escape for just a few hours....even if it was just to the back yard, and recharge. These guys (you know who you are), are a great group of gentlemen...thank you.

Drew told my mom that he was starting to get nervous about school starting. She asked him if he had been praying. He said, "Probably not as much as I should be." So they decided they should pray. He bowed his head and folded his hands and said, "God, please let Cross be in my class this year. If he's not, I know you will help me make lots of new friends." Wow. We are praying for a smooth transition this year. Drew is going to miss his teacher so much but I'm sure his new teacher will be wonderful too. PLUS, we will surely still see Mrs. M on a regular basis. Especially since there is a 50/50 chance, Cohen and Levi might need to teach someone in her family to play the "guitar." **wink wink**


Anonymous said...

I can remember a similar response years ago, after my best friend/sister was killed by a drunk driver. It amazed me for months that the world could just "go on" and not realize the pain that I felt every waking moment! The world had changed for me, so why wasn't that obvious to everyone else? My pain felt so visible and raw that I anticipated seeing it where ever I looked.
You and your family have been such wonderful friends to Stephanie and Scot.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, and God's greatest blessings to you and yours.

Anonymous said...

Chrissy don't forget, Steph sees it all now. You don't have to remember becasue she is at Gods feet and he is making sure she sees things as she prepares a place for them when it is time. Like the great Coach she is, making sure her team knows what to do next.

Toni Tralala said...

Being the good friend that you are, you have been rewarded with good pals as well. Be strong and it's really nice to see that there are people like you around who appreciate even the simple things in life. <3

Anonymous said...

Step does see it all now and you will feel her touch or just know she is there. After all these years I still feel that about my grandma. I was on my work this week and thinking about the upcoming basketball season and how much we where looking forward to the games before New Years, as we always do, and all of a sudden here came the tears. Steph will not be on the sidelines so I can see her or talk to her but I know she will be there coaching just like always. Thank you for all the times we were able to watch. How blessed we were.