Dear Mr. F1 tornado,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for deciding to touch down where you did on Tuesday night. You see, had you swirled just one mile north, you would have hit my dear friend's house. You may not know her but she's got plenty going on right now. Not only is she a wife, mommy, daughter, sister, friend, teacher and coach...but she is kinda sick right now. The last thing she needs is to have her home destroyed by the likes of you. Thank you for being so cooperative.
Sincerely and Fearfully yours,