Monday, January 12, 2009

Is this real?

On Friday after chemo, we had movie day at Nanny's. (My mom) While we waited for Nanny to get home Cohen snoozed in my truck and I sat and watched Drew and Claire play. They were in search of flowers for Claire's wedding bouquet. The settled for "nuts" and went about their business. They found some ivy that was still green and were so excited to find "LUCKY CLOVERS" to wish on! Claire wished for a lifelong friendship with her best buddy Drew and he assured her they would be friends forever. They sat on the little bench wrapped in each others arms and talked quietly. I will never know what they said, but I know they are bonded for life. I hope they never grow apart.

Enter Nanny. We don't need you anymore mommy/Chrissy. Go in. Make popcorn. Turn on Elmo in Grouchland. Use exercise ball...for throwing and bouncing of course. Hit Cohen harder than I planned. He falls face first into a hard toy. Mommy and Nanny should be concerned. Mommy and Nanny laugh uncontrollably while hugging Coco tight so hopefully he won't notice. (Sorry, it's just what we do.) Cuddle with Drew. Turn on Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium. Watch half. Give star ratings. Cohen and Drew...4 stars. Claire....1 star. Claire is being difficult. Kids play. Mommy and Nanny talk.

We talked about this situation. Steph has been a part of my life since I was a 6th grader. I can't believe what we are doing right now. Who would have thought that she would become one of my very best friends? Who would have thought that we would marry within months of each other and have our first babies just eight months apart? Who could have imagined that 3 months into my second pregnancy she would, very casually, tell us that Drew was going to be a big brother? I MIGHT have been able to predict all of that especially after she met Scot and he purposed with a fortune cookie. But I can tell you this. I NEVER imagined we would be helping her fight cancer. Mom said as she grabbed a Ziploc bag that Steph has to take with her after chemo she stopped and looked at it. It is labeled "Chemotherapy." She looked at Steph and asked, "Is this real?" Steph asks herself this question everyday. It just doesn't seem possible. Two years ago all the world was right. We both had new baby boys and Claire and Drew were carefree. We talked about pre-school, diaper rashes, tantrums and sibling rivalry. It's amazing how your world can change in the blink of an eye. Now we talk about genetics, chemo, side effects, scans and radiation. I have become borderline OCD when it comes to aches and pains. Right now, my back hurts and I catch myself wondering if there is a tumor causing the pain. I know good and well that it is the fact that I am out of shape and carry a 40+ pound two year old around. I stress about everything that I feed my children. We don't microwave in plastic. It's insane. It just doesn't seem real.

1 comment:

Nanny said...

I'm so glad that you love her, too! She's awesome! (and you are, too!)