Wednesday, July 14, 2010

She will never be far.

**Photo by Auntie Karen @ by george Photography**

Over the last month, I thought a lot about what tomorrow would be like. I wish I had the nerve to stand up and speak in Steph's honor. I would do it in a heartbeat. I don't fear speaking in front of the crowd...especially the crowd of "her people." But I know, it just wouldn't happen without A LOT of tears so I thought it best to leave it to the professionals. But I do have a message that I want shared with the masses. So here it goes.
From the very day we were told of Steph's diagnosis our thoughts immediately turned to Drew and Levi. We eventually made peace with the fact that God may take our precious friend from us. We, as adults, could manage. What we could NOT deal with, was the thought of God taking Drew and Levi's mommy away. That seemed impossible to accept. It is no doubt a HUGE reason so many have been drawn to this story. People are drawn to Drew's beautiful brown eyes and infectious laugh. People are sucked in by Levi's beautiful pouty lips and kissable cheeks. No one can resist their matching smiles that just melt your heart! I want to share with you how I came to terms with this myself, in hopes it will help you to understand God's way.
In January, I was really struggling. We were coming to terms with the fact that we were nearing the end of the last treatment options. I was praying to God for a miracle...if I couldn't have that, I needed some way to tell my heart how to go on. Well, I'm sure you've heard about our God and his perfect timing. My answer came, fittingly enough, in the form of an athlete in the Winter Olympics. I don't remember her name or even her event, I just remember her story. She talked about losing her mom when she was just 18 months old. She said that she didn't remember her mom, but she KNOWS her. The people who were left behind to raise her made sure of that. She spoke highly of the group of family and friends who pulled together to raise her and finished by saying that she never missed out because her mom isn't here on earth.
These boys will ALWAYS have a momma. She will ALWAYS be in their hearts. They will know their momma. They will understand it is because of HER love and loyalty that they are surrounded by people who only want the best for them. They will always have their wonderful daddy who was hand picked by God and perfectly matched with their momma for a very special purpose. They will grow up in a community where their momma was respected and loved and will never be forgotten. We will pull together, in true Lady Chief fashion, and do exactly what Steph taught so many young athletes to do. We will PULL TOGETHER as a TEAM and make sure these boys feel the love of their momma every single day. She will never be far. You can count on that.

14 comments:

emily said...

beautifully written chrissy!

Anonymous said...

In all things praise the Lord!
Thank you for the message.

Anonymous said...

Girl...you have strength that can't be explained by anything OTHER than being from God!

Kiley said...

Chrissy- as I have followed this blog for the past several months I have been amazed at the the strength you have had during this difficult time. You are right in everything you say and you say it with such grace. Stephanie was very lucky to have the support from you and her other family and friends. Drew and Levi are also very lucky to be surrounded by such love. Thank you for what you have done! God bless you and may Steph rest in peace knowing that her boys will be just fine! Lots of love- Elizabeth (Schweitzer) Mendenhall

Anonymous said...

As a momma and a hospice nurse, this is a difficult thing to explain, understand, and accept...thank you for this post and Amen.

Anonymous said...

Well you just keep amazing me with your grace of words and how you express them! I truly hope this blog becomes a book and I wouldn't be surprised if it doesnt end up on the best sellers list!!

Turn this talent into something great!

Prayers for you guys for tomorrow for strength to get through the day!
Love ya all!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Very inspirational! Thoughts and very special prayers are with you, your family, and all the people that Steph blessed and will continue to bless in so many ways! Steph's foundation and blog blessed and strengthened my brother that passed away with melanoma cancer and his wife and their two beautiful girls. All of you have touched so many peoples lives in such a positive way. I did not know Steph personally but I knew about her basketball and coaching career. She has inspired so many and will continue to do so!

Thanks and God Bless!

Shelley Melton

Anonymous said...

I didn't know Stephanie, but knew who she was. She was truly blessed to be surrounded by such loving friends and family. Your blog is an inspiration. You expressed your thoughts & feeling so well. I shed many tears while reading it, especially in her last days. I know today will be one of the hardest days of your life as you bid farewell to your beautiful friend. I know she will live on in her sons' hearts forever. I will keep all of you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Steph was a very determined lady. She was meek, kind and was a great to play with at SMSU (MSU). She truely has touched many lives and has deposited inspiration in many of us. We can still be encouraged in our own lives by how she fought against cancer. I will continue to pray for her family and friends fervently as another healing is needed in the hearts of many. Remember God's love covers ALL. Continue to make that the center of your lives. God has already prepared you and given you the strength to keep on winning. I will miss you Steph!

LaTanya Davis (as Steph called me, Granny)

Anonymous said...

You all have been on my mind today. I have been following your blog for a long time. I never knew her, but I went through cancer treatment and I could understand how hard it was. I was wondering if she EVER got to see/read the book you made her. I just saw the funeral on television at noon. The horse drawn carriage was beautiful. The portraits of her were also wonderful. Please keep us posted on how the little boys are makin' it and Scot and you all too, as her friends and family. God bless you all so much!!!

Anonymous said...

WOW, well said, I did not know Stephanie personally, knew who she was tho thru sports...Having just lost my Mom 10 mos. ago, I know of the pain, but I am an adult, I feel for those boys, but it sounds like all of you, family and friends, have an awesome network, and will make sure those boys feel the love of their momma every day..God Bless you all...

Anonymous said...

Hey ... I came across your blog through Kimmy (Robbins) from all the way from Slovenia, Europe. I was exchange student at Kickapoo 96/97 and was the manager of the volleyball and basketball teams. I just wanted to say that I deeply admire what you and your family have been doing for your dearest friend and her family. You are roll models for all of us and a reminder that we should make the most of our lives and that all that really matters is our family and friends ... and last but not least: a BIG thank you for a "wake-up call" ... "We can do it"
Love,
Urska from Slovenia, Europe

Anonymous said...

Chrissy - I can't thank you enough for what you and your family have shown to Steph. Having lost a parent as a young child, I know that exactly what you heard from that athlete at the Olympics was exact timing from God. HE is in control and has the road map planned out so much farther than we can see. You are also exactly right! With the support of this group of friends and family - DREW & LEVI - you WILL know your momma and we will make sure of it! You will also know the GOD and SAVIOR that your momma fell so in love with and entrusted her life to and is dunking that ball in Heaven while she's on your shoulder as your special angel!

Kimberly said...

You write beautifully. Her boys are beautiful!