Thursday, July 1, 2010

Why I blog.

Tonight I will talk about my purpose for this blog. When I first started this blog, it was to keep family and friends posted on Steph's progress. Since then, it has evolved into something SO much bigger.

It turned into a place for me to share our WHOLE story. I have been able to let you all in, and have been received with open arms. So many faithful readers have shared in our struggles, but have also taken the time to read about our everyday lives together. You have smiled through slide shows of our happy time pictures. You have celebrated anniversaries and birthdays right along with us. You have cried as we said goodbye to family members. You have read along as I, sometimes selfishly, turned this blog into a place for really cheap therapy. YOU, even though many of us have never met IRL (in real life), have become family.

It has served as a place for us to be heard and request your sweet prayers that are so precious. It is a place where I have had the privilege of sharing the story of this amazing family. Most importantly, it is a place where I am able to share the gospel. I was talking with Jackie (Scot's cousin) today about this very thing. I am not very good at evangelism. I am great about talking about my faith with other believers, but unfortunately witnessing to non-believers is not my specialty. Maybe I'm afraid of an argument in which I would most likely fail miserably. Maybe I'm afraid of making people uncomfortable. That is why I love this blog. I feel like maybe it is preparing me for the task that I am instructed to take on. Writing comes easy to comparison to talking face to face. This fact was made painfully obvious to me as I read my quotes in a recent article where I was clearly very comfortable in conversation mode with Michael Stacy from the Springfield News-Leader. What I do know, is God has opened up this little space on the web for me to share my faith...our faith, with the world. What a blessing. I pray that my words are exactly what HE would want them to be.

Today, this blog has taken on a new life. For now, the blog is to keep you posted as we watch something we hoped we would NEVER have to. I feel nervous every time I hit "publish post" for fear I may give away too much. So many of you know how private our dear friend has been throughout her life, but at this point it is important for us to share her message. You MUST listen to your body. You MUST be your own advocate. You MUST make people listen if you feel something isn't right. Reading my previous posts, I worry that it may seem we are giving up. I'm here to tell you, that is not the case. We will never give up. We may be fighting for different things, but we will never give up. We will not give up the fight to keep Steph's pain under control. We will not give up on keeping life as normal as possible for these sweet children. We will never stop sharing our story of how God has carried us through this.

My other purpose here today involves one of my personality traits that sometimes can be a major flaw. I'm a fixer. I want people to be happy. When the people I care about the most are sad, my world is not right. Heck, when complete strangers are sad, so am I! Well, I can't fix this. But I can try. I know that many of you have been so touched by this story because of the two precious boys involved. In order to help I want you all to understand, right now....these boys are okay. Their days are FILLED with loving Grandparents, aunts, uncles and a dad who is nothing short of AMAZING. They spend hours outside in a little paradise with their best friends in the world swimming, riding bikes and throwing back more Popsicles and homemade goodies than you could shake a stick at. We try to keep the house relatively quiet, but they know at ANY time ANY of them can sneak upstairs and love on our girl. It's sweet and you never know when the mood will strike them. And it does....often. When they get tired, they love to retreat to the basement. They throw on Nanny's t-shirts and cuddle up on the couches and usually fight over what movie they will watch on Netflix. They like to turn the lights off and have popcorn and pretend they are at the movies. There are nights like tonight when sweet friends come to take them to the REAL movie theater and they look forward to it all day. Tomorrow night Drew will have a sleepover with a very special friend who has some very AMAZING parents and we love them! Some days we get special surprises like we got today. Papa Ed flew over the house in the helicopter!! It was really exciting and definitely the highlight of the day! Here are a few pics of everyone waving at our special visitor!

It's the little things in life that bring us SO much joy! Thank you Papa Ed!!

So there you have it friends, if you really wanted to know....that's why I blog! Keep praying for relief from the pain. Steph had a rough afternoon and my mom was talking to the nurse about what we need to do next. Please pray for answers and above all...comfort. Thank you so very much!


kim said...

Chrissy I have meet your mom at a football game a couple years ago and she was with Steph and the boys. I want you to know that you do such a wonderful job at keeping us all informed on what is going on. I truely LOVE reading your blogs. I know we have never met but you feel like family to us. We will be praying for all of you during these very tough days. Thank you for sharing your family with us we have truely enjoyed it!!!!
Take care and know we are praying constantly for all of you!!!!
Kim Bullard

Anonymous said...

You are amazing. Your faith, your love and your beautiful heart. We are blessed with your updates. We have been allowed to laugh and cry along with you. Thank you for being the voice and allowing us into your daily lives. You have done this with grace and dignity and have allowed us to be a part of Stephanie's story. She truly is an amazing young lady and you are too, sweet wonderful girl!! Thank you for sharing and touching our lives, you do a wonderful service.

Kate said...

Chrissy, I've only been reading your blog for the past couple months, and now, I think of you, your family, & Steph constantly. I played softball at Missouri State, and Steph & I weren't really friends, but I knew who she was. I knew who she was because she was one of the VERY few athletes who went out of her way to smile and say hi. She was wonderful to EVERYONE. What a special person. I just can't understand why this is happening to her. It is not fair. It is very obvious that she has the greatest people surrounding her now, and is in the very best possible hands. My prayers are with you all.

Anonymous said...

I just can't understand why this is happening to her. Hide and watch. God knows why and no matter how bad this may seem to us He is saving her from something worst and all of this has a purpose that we may never know our selves but someone will. This wonderful person has been watched by many as she played basketball for Cheryl Burnett and then played at SBU under Jim. We saw her toughness- her fight-never give up-
her smile and she always knew everyone. A very fine coach she became and what a wonderful person. One set of foot prints in the sand for the Lord is carry her and her life here is far from over as her purpose is not done nor her message complete yet. We do not know who or what she is touching but we do know that God is taking care of her and his will- will be done. It may not seem fair to us but we must trust the Lord knows best and there is a purpose to all of this and if we are lucky someday we will know and understand.

joy said...

I started reading your blog just 2 weeks sgo.All my kids graduated from KHS.When you said you are a fixer...I totally relate.I am too!My made of honor passed with Non Hogk Larg cell Lymphoma years ago at 35yrs. Her babies were 3 and 5 yrs.I feel your pain. God will keep you strong.Thank You for sharing.

Bob Goessling said...

Chrissy, I've been reading this from the start, and all I can say is THANK YOU! All the coach's in St. Louis are praying for Steph and her family and for people like you. Thank you for sharing with us Thank you for sharing your faith, your love, and sharing Steph with us.

Bob Goessling
St. Joe's Academy

Anonymous said...

Oh, Chrissy how i wish i could take all of yours and your families hurt away. I pray for Steph to have little or no pain and i pray for Scot and the boys.

As we travel with cancer with Julie I think of all of you often

God Bless all of you,

Kris Stock said...

My kids have grown up playing sports. I found that sports and being a part of a team teaches them so much more than just how to play a game. They have been lucky to have had some wonderful coaches. But every once in a while one you get an amazing coach that teaches your child life’s lessons that they carry for the rest of their lives. Stephanie did that for Megan my youngest child. She has impacted Megan in ways that she will never know. When things weren’t going so great and she was facing a tough time, it was a running joke that nothing could be tougher than practice at Kickapoo. So whatever she was facing would also be conquered. For Megan's senior project she wrote a children's book on dealing with cancer. She nominated Stephanie as an outstanding teacher who impacted her life in high school. Stephanie was one of the top five high school teachers recognized at the University of Tulsa. Thanks so much for sharing her story and letting everyone know how truly wonderful she is.
Kris Stock

Anonymous said...

We are praying for Gods will to be done in each of your lives and for him to surround you with his loving arms to give you comfort during this trial. Everything you are experiencing is FOR a reason and God knows what that is and one day when we are all reunited in heaven, it will become clear if it were not already clear here on earth.

Steffany Happ said...

I have been keeping up on the blog and I think about Stephanie all of the time. I also think of Levi, Drew, Scot. John, Ryan and most especially Edna. For those that don't know her, Edna is Stephanie's Mom. She is an amazingly strong woman and the type of Mom everyone want's for a parent. I am Edna's daughter-in-law. I am married to her step-son. I love Edna like she is my own Mother and my heart is breaking for her. "During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
This is Steph's favorite poem and I think this is very appropriate for right now.

Anonymous said...

Our prayers are with all of you in these trying days. I find myself thinking of Steph several times of day with tears dripping off my face because you have kept it so real for all of us that love her and in turn have become so invested in her family and yours. Thank you for allowing us a glimpse with updates, and guiding us how to fill those needs that may exist; even if it is just telling us how to pray. We love Steph and this blog allows us to stay close to her through this difficult time.
Our love and prayers go to you all.

Anonymous said...

Praying for Stephanie in hopes of easing her pain, and of course, praying for strength for Scott and the boys! Was glad Renee Temple spent some quality time with Steph last evening. Prior to our evening of freedom celebration, our conversation centered on Steph...lots of tears! Thanks Chrissy so much for continuing to keep us informed regarding "A WONDERFUL PERSON". You and your family are saints in our book!

Gary Prouty

Angel Hartwell Michael said...

I played AAU basketball with Steph many years ago. I can't imagine how tough this is for all of you, but your faith will see you through. God tells us that "ALL things work together for GOOD, for them that LOVE Him and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. We do not know the good He has planned through this. I know you have seen good things through this, but I feel that there is more good to come through this. Steph has touched many lives and now many of those people are hearing you testify to what God is doing. Stay strong and keep the faith. Give Steph my love. Praying for you all.

Anonymous said...

My family knows cancer unfortuntately too well. My children went to KHS. My son played for the football team and loved Scot Phillips. He then chose to be one of the managers of the lady chiefs bball team. How Stephanie put up with him God only The patience she must have had. He learned many of life's lessons about the strength of women in those short few months. He is serving in the military now and I am so thankful he experienced both Stephanie and Scot. What awesome role models,parents and teachers they are and will forever be remembered as their students grow as adults.