Drew had a wonderful birthday and I can't wait to share the pictures we have. It really was a beautiful day. But until then, I have to share this story.

Last night, Claire and I were in her bedroom putting the finishing touches on her Christmas tree. Our conversation went like this:

Claire-"Oh momma, when my tree is all decorated, my lights are on, my room is clean and I have my Christmas music on...it feels like I'm in Heaven."

Me-"Awww, is that what you think Heaven will be like?"

Claire-"I think Heaven is whatever you want it to be like."

Me-"Do you think Steph will have Christmas lights in Heaven?"

Claire-"Yes I do. And I think she is going to have the BEST Christmas EVER this year!"

Me-"Oh really? Why do you say that?"

Claire-"Because she gets to celebrate Jesus' birthday WITH HIM!"

Through my tears I thanked God for my precious girl, hugged her tight...and gave her a giant bowl of ice cream because how on EARTH do you say no to a child who just said THAT????

Happy Birthday Drew Baby!

Happy 7th Birthday Drew! from Chrissy George on Vimeo.

Untitled

When we found out Steph was with child, I decided I would keep a journal for the baby. I KNEW this baby was going to be special and I KNEW he or she would be a part of my life forever. A few times each month, I would jot down my thoughts and the things that were happening. I put together a scrapbook for Drew. It tells him the story of the night his momma told her team she was expecting, the day she called me and told me it was a BOY, the day he got his first Radio Flyer from my dad (yes, before he was even born), the morning sickness that lasted all day and the day I sat and watched him roll around in his momma's belly. I had not looked at this book in well over 3 years. I picked it up a few months ago and read the last page. It was my last note to Drew before he was born.

Well buddy, this will be the last time I write to you before you are born. I wanted to give this book to your mom at her last shower tomorrow so I have to finish it today. I can't even express how excited I am to see you for the first time. I think about you a lot and I can't wait to hold you. I want you to know that I would do anything for you and I will always be here whenever you need me. I know when you first get here that you really only need your parents. But later in life, you just never know! Good luck on the way out and I will be praying for you and your mom. I will see you very soon!

I love you forever and always,
Chrissy

I read that and was so sad. Later in life, you just never know. When I typed that, I was thinking YEARS down the road...when he had done something naughty and was in trouble with his mom and dad. I NEVER thought THIS is how it would be. I never imagined any of this. This happens to other people, not us. It makes me mad. It makes me sad and for the first time, I am actually asking God WHY? I hate that I am asking that, and I KNOW I will never have an answer in this lifetime. I can hear story after story of people who were impacted by HER story, and I am thankful for those people who have taken the time to share. I am thankful that she brought people closer to each other and more importantly closer to God. I am truly glad about all that...but it doesn't make me miss her less. It doesn't bring her back. It doesn't take the pain away. I can't change our circumstances, but I can keep the promise I made to her in my room that day in early July and the promise I made to Drew in his book. I will be here. I will help take care of these precious babies until they have babies of their own. (If all goes as planned with the arranged marriage, Drew's babies will be my grand babies!)I will tell them about the day they were born because that's what the mom's in my family do and I KNOW that is what she would be doing if she were here. I will also do birthday posts for them...so tune in tomorrow for Drew's!

Happy Birthday Grandma Edna!!

As I have mentioned before, our family has a habit of adopting people. One of the very special people we adopted is Steph's mom Edna. Steph LOVED how the kids ALL consider each grandparent their own, even if the bloodlines don't exactly match up! Grandma Edna, we hope you had a wonderful day! You brought a precious gift into this world that changed our lives forever, and we thank you a million times over. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

He gives and takes away....not always in that order.

In our case, He is giving AFTER He took away. Our family is overjoyed at the thought of a new baby girl to love and spoil. My little brother and his beautiful wife will welcome a sweet little girl into the world sometime in March. My mom said this, "My forever friend, Steph has been gone 4 months now. I miss her. I wanted so bad to be able to call her and tell her that my baby boy is going to have a baby girl. She knows."

I can picture what her reaction would be because I've seen it...three times. She would be excited. She would be there in March, standing outside the door with us as we listen for her first cries. Just another thing we have to do without her physically here....but another thing we KNOW she is watching and will forever be a part of.

Congratulations Jarad, Ashley and Alivia! We can't wait to meet this sweet baby girl!

Chuck Taylors.

In 2006, we took a girls trip to Las Vegas. My mom, Steph and I spent a few days stuffing ourselves, shopping and watching all of the March Madness games that were on. I truly think you haven't experienced March Madness until you have done it Vegas style! Watching one of the games on the HUGE screen at Ceasar's Palace was awesome....but not as awesome as the look on some guys face when he saw Steph's bracket and heard her rattle off reasons why she picked the teams she picked. He thought she was just another cute girl with a bracket based on the color of the uniforms and who she thought was good looking. We had a great time, made LOTS of memories and even learned something new about Steph. THAT is a story in itself and someday I may share it with you all....it was a pretty amazing story. The last day we were there, we went into this shoe store where I purchased my first pair of Chuck Taylors. It only took me a few years to convince my family that EVERYONE needed a pair! Soon, all the kids had them and Steph purchase a pair for herself and Scot. Ashley jumped on the bandwagon, but my parents and Jarad still refuse. Even Brian ended up with a pair! I'm sure many of you remember this picture I took at state this spring.She got up that morning and her toe was hurting her so bad. The thought of wearing dress shoes did not excite her so she decided her Chucks would have to do. Suddenly, she became KNOWN for those Chucks. They remind us of her now. I was SO excited when I got the chance (thanks Big Daddy!) to design my own pair on the Converse website. I went with red and black, because those are our school colors....and I am NEVER moving again. I personalized them in honor of my dear friend.

And apparently...the idea is catching on! These were designed by Miss Amanda who was a senior on Steph's team last year!
Personally, I think this is a great idea for Christmas presents. (I am not advertising here, I just LOVE these shoes!) But if you do happen to make your own....send me pics. I would love to have a gallery posted of everyone's Chucks. Here is a link. Follow this link to check out the shoes I just created on Converse.com. You can change them up to make them yours, it's really quite fun!

WIN.

If you will remember in a previous post, I mentioned that Steph was being honored again this year at the WIN banquet. They had renamed the courage award to "The Stephanie Phillips Courage Award." It was presented to the 2009-2010 Lady Chiefs Basketball team by none other than our very own SUPERDAD!!! Scot did an amazing job. Lucky for you...I got it on video.

Untitled from Chrissy George on Vimeo.

It was a very emotional evening for all of us. When they asked for last year's honorees to stand and be recognized...my heart broke. SHE should be here. SHE should be standing. It makes me so sad. But just one look at those precious boys and I am overcome with gratitude. Thankful for a God who knew we would need them as much as they need us! Here are a few pictures from the evening.

Halloween.

I was nervous about Halloween this year. This would be the first year we have ever trick-or-treated without Steph. For five years, we dressed our babies up in silly costumes and took as many pictures as we could considering our wiggly subjects. Three years we were at our old house, two years we were at Nanny and Papa's and last year we were at our new house. It's another first for us, and let me tell you...they haven't been easy. So the "grownups" decided we would dress up this year. I was SO glad we did. We had a great time and it really took the focus off of what was missing and shifted it towards making more memories. She loved our chaos. She loved that she was always a part of it. She would love that all three of her boys are still a part of it. I can just see her rolling her eyes and telling us all we are "such dorks." So here we are: Jarad the Vampire Ashley the Witch Brian the Werewolf Cohen the Cowboy Me the Queen of Hearts Claire as Yoshi Levi as Obi-Wan Kenobi Scot as Darth Vader Drew as Luke Skywalker Livi the Littlest Witch Chandler as Thomas the Train Grandma Edna as Grandma Edna holding Chandler because he was terrified of Scot and Brian Carsten the Elephant Jackie as Jackie holding Carsten because he was a little freaked out too!

From Steph Won.

From Steph Won.

We hope you all had a fun time this weekend. We did...and I'm still washing the red spray out of my hair!!!

From Steph Won.

Drew's Day at the Dentist!

We have the most amazing family dentist. He is kind, caring and makes going to the dentist easy! He has been a part of our world for years. In fact, he was at my wedding!! He has an amazing staff and we love them all too. They ALL are always so kind and fun when we go in and always offered up sweet prayers on our behalf. We love it at Dr. Ryen's office! Since we started making babies around here, we knew that they would go to Dr. Ryen as well. Claire and Drew have each had the unfortunate experience of a cavity. I dreaded Claire's filling appointment so much I made Big Daddy take her...only to get a call after the appointment saying that she went right in, plopped down and never made a peep! SO, we knew Drew would do great. Thankfully, Nanny captured some of the highlights!